I’ve written often about how sales has been my profession for over twenty years. During that period I’ve moved from selling fax machines (door to door!), copiers and printers, and eventually enterprise software for over a decade. I’ve learned an incredible amount about subjects such as emotional intelligence, negotiation, human interaction, champion building, and a host of other things during that period. I’ve also learned a lot about the concept of rejection.

A sales career is all about rejection. Early on, in my twenties, my job was to make cold calls, both in-person and over the phone, all day long. The occasional positive conversation was dwarfed by the number of hang-ups, awkward conversations, and the endless times the prospect told me to “never call them again.” Very quickly I learned to not take the rejection personally— to realize that the prospect wasn’t rejecting me as a person, but rather was rejecting the role I was playing. My ability to separate the person from the role was effective and a tool that I often used to coach young salespeople over the years. I would often relate the story that they could be in line at the grocery store after work and the very person that became hostile with them on the phone might line in front of them and they wouldn’t even know it. In fact, in a different setting, that person most likely would be pleasant. It was a great tool to tell them that the rejection isn’t personal, it was just business.

More importantly, in a sales setting, it was easy to understand that the rejection wasn’t permanent. It didn’t define me and there was always another prospect I could call. As long as I kept a positive attitude and kept working towards the goal, I’d very soon be talking to an engaged prospect and my mind would immediately forget all the rejection that happened right before. I think as humans we understand this. My sales job was just that, a job. It was a way to earn money and support my growing family.