There’s a famous experiment, the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment. Young children were put in a room and a marshmallow was placed in front of them. They were told that if they were able to resist eating the marshmallow for 15 minutes they would get a second treat, which was also in their view. The researchers then left the room and observed them. The results were a classic test of willpower. Some children ate the marshmallows immediately. The majority were able to resist and wait the fifteen-minutes and get a second treat.

It was a great test of instant vs. delayed gratification. In follow up studies the researchers found unexpected correlations between the results of the test and the success of the children in later years. In 1988 the first follow-up study was conducted which showed that preschool children who delayed gratification longer in the test were described more than ten-years later by their parents as adolescents who were significantly more competent. Later experiments showed that the children who delayed gratification typically showed higher SAT scores.

I have no doubt that six-year-old me would have failed that test. There are times when adult me may not fare well on it. Willpower has always been a challenge for me in certain areas.

As Cal Newport says, “willpower is the forever struggle of the human soul.”

Right now my biggest willpower issues are diet and proper management of my screen time. I’m not alone in my struggles in these two areas. Diet related willpower issues are something millions of Americans struggle with, and smartphone addiction is quickly becoming an epidemic with some people checking their phone as much as 300 times per day.

According to bestselling author Charles Duhigg, it all comes down to willpower, our single most important habit.

From his book: The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do In Life and In Business:

“Dozens of studies show that willpower is the single most important keystone habit for individual success. In a 2005 study, for instance, researchers from the University of Pennsylvania analyzed 164 eighth-grade students, measuring their IQs and other factors, including how much willpower the students demonstrated, as measured by test of their self-discipline. Students who exerted high levels of willpower were more likely to earn higher grades in their classes and gain admission into more selective schools. They had fewer absences and spent less time watching television and more time on homework. Highly self-disciplined adolescents outperformed their more impulsive peers on ever academic-performance variable.”

In regards to willpower and determination, it’s not the case of having it or not having it. Some people are better at resisting urges and have a stronger willpower mainly because they are effective at increasing their level of determination and self-control. According to Stanford Professor Kelly McGonigal there is growing evidence that you can improve self-control by training your brain, and the best method is consistent use of meditation.

From her book: The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It.

“Neuroscientists have discovered that when you ask the brain to meditate, it gets better not just at meditating, but at wide range of self-control skills, including attention, focus, stress management, impulse control, and self-awareness…over time people who meditate become finely tuned willpower machines.

Studies have shown that people who meditate regularly have more gray matter in the prefrontal cortex, as well as regions of the brain that support self-awareness.

Further, according to McGonigal, “One study found that just three hours of meditation practice led to improved attention and self-control. After eleven hours, researchers could see those changes in the brain. The new meditators had increase neural connections between regions of the brain important for staying focused, ignoring distractions and controlling impulses.”

In addition to meditation, McGonigal recommends a second activity to build self-control and enhance willpower, exercise. Of course this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone.

“Exercise turns out to be the closest thing to a wonder drug that self-control scientists have discovered. For starters, the willpower benefits of exercise are immediate. Fifteen minutes on a treadmill reduces cravings, as seen when researchers try to tempt dieters with chocolate and smokers with cigarettes. The long-term effects of exercise are even more impressive. It not only relieves ordinary, everyday stress, but it’s as powerful as the antidepressant Prozac. Exercise can have an immediate impact, even for those getting back into shape. When researchers have peered inside the brains of new exercisers, they have seen increases in both gray matter- brain cells- and white matter, the insulation on brain cells that helps them communicate quickly and efficiently with each other.”

Exercise literally makes your brain bigger and helps it work faster, and it’s more than just exercise. Small things like focusing on improving your posture, or a focus on tidying up the house on a more consistent basis have shown to increase willpower.

So how does this all work? What actions can we put into place?

McGonigal stresses that the real power lies in the habit of noticing what you are about to do, in essence the space between stimulus and response. It all comes down to being mindful of the decisions we make. The key is to reduce the variability of your behavior day to day:

“View every choice you make as a commitment to all future choices. So instead of asking, “Do I want to eat this candy bar now?” ask yourself, “Do I want the consequences of eating a candy bar ever afternoon for the next year?”

My diet is a constant struggle. I often finding myself heading into the day with nothing but good intentions. I’ll be productive in the morning, work out, and charge into the day with energy and the intent to make good food choices. Some days I’m successful. On other days I give in to the temptation. Many of those days are directly related to properly managing stress. According to McGonigal this is common and a big part of it is the activities you choose to take part in to release stress. Studies have shown that people who choose to gamble, shop, smoke, drink, eat, play video games or surf the Internet to reduce stress end up in many cases increasing their stress. The positive stress relievers are more physical activities such as walking, meditating, or doing yoga.

It can be as simple as more effectively managing your stress by choosing movement when you have the urge to eat something or find yourself surfing the Internet aimlessly. Next time you feel the need to reach for that snack, perhaps instead do twenty-five pushups or go for a walk around the neighborhood. For someone who has a job where they sit all day perhaps find five to ten minutes each your to get up and move.

So what else can we do to counter the rush of the little dopamine hit we get when we reach for our phone to scroll Facebook or reach for a snack in the pantry?

According to Spartan Race founder Joe De Sena there are three areas we can focus on:

Make Discomfort Your Friend: De Sena uses the example of a two-day fast and how many people find the idea of it extremely uncomfortable, and it is. He makes the point that you can use discomfort to “expand the rubber band of your mind”, realizing that you have the ability to accomplish so much more. So challenge yourself to do things that make you uncomfortable to expand your ability to resist, making it easier in the future to avoid temptation.

According to De Sena you’re going to be choosing between two pains anyway, the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

Get an Accountability Partner: Find another person, or perhaps even a fitness app to push you along and stay on top of you. In this case people are way more effective. In my case I’ve learned that consistently using a fitness app can be a case of willpower itself.

Draw a Line in the Sand: Finally, sign up for an event or put a milestone on your calendar that helps drive you towards your goal. According to De Sena the calendar and your event becomes your “why”.

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